Silent Longing

Jasper and Merlin

Silent Longing

When he was still quite small, the children nicknamed Jasper 'Baby Bear' because he would stand on his back legs and fight with his paws.

It soon became clear that Jasper and Chris, our 22 year old son had a special relationship. Chris adored Jasper, he was his baby, and Jasper followed Chris everywhere. He slept on his bed at night and when Chris was at work Jasper would sleep in the garage only to emerge a half hour or so before Chris was due home.

Merlin got his name because, when he was a tiny kitten, he looked like a little old man. I used to call him my little wizard. He was an active, playful kitten, always up to something. He grew into a wild, spirited cat. When I groomed his long fur he would growl and bite me if the comb got caught in the tangles. I loved his wildness.

Merlin and Jasper disappeared sometime between the evening of June 23 and the morning of June 24 2003.

We have always felt it strange that they should go together. Although Merlin was a wanderer, Jasper was a real home bird. He rarely left his own garden.

We think they may have been stolen. They were two very beautiful cats. This thought has left my son angry and unable to find closure.He can't be sure if they are happy, especially Jasper who was so nervous and so attached to him.

I wrote this poem a few days after they left.

SILENT LONGING

Our days are filled with longing for the two of you.

Our nights are haunted with dreams of where you may have gone to.

I long to once again run my hand through your silky fur,

And watch you snuggle on your back as you begin to purr.

I long to watch you flick your proud tails as you fight

Together in the living room at night.

I long to just look at your wild beauty as you

Prowl across the carpet and leap onto the window sill.

I wish that once again you would sharpen your claws on the chair by the door,

Or knock my treasures from the cabinet onto the floor,

Or damage the plants in your reckless play.

I wish, oh I wish you had never gone away.

I long to touch the little black spot on Jasper's face and

stroke Merlin's lynx ears,

But I know I never will.

Goodbye my little wizard.

Goodbye Baby Bear.

My memories of you now have this place.

They will be safe there.

This is where I belong

Jasper sitting among my treasured ornaments

This window box is cosy

Merlin sitting among my flowers